I have some burning journaling questions for you about motherhood stress: it impacts all mom's and this is impacting our health and healing.
1. Did your mom enjoy being a mom?
2. Do you enjoy being a mom? Or do you find it stressful and exhausting?
3. Do you think your mom's enjoyment (or lack of) impacted how you engage as a mother? Or feel confident in your parenting?
4. If you aren't enjoying being a mom (and that is okay!), you get to create your own version of motherhood.
I am finding that the biggest pain points for women are:
*Perfection: clean house, laundry done, sink empty, kids clean
*Time: there is no time for family or self
*Fun: there is no fun because of perfection, cleaning, stress
*Being Present: we can't be present because we are thinking of all the things that need to be done to be perfect.
*Weight: focused too much on weight loss, size, standards, which increases stress, self-loathing, and then increases weight as cortisol and estrogen rise despite eating great and exercising.
*Comparison: my friends lost weight on keto, her kids are perfect, she seems happy, her house is decorated!
I am so guilty of all of the pain points, I sat down to play with Jakey and my first thought was 1. what is that smell 2. OMG TAKE A SHOWER AND CHANGE YOUR PANTS 3. Okay let's play 4. OMG where are these ants coming from, i told you to not eat food up here. 5. Look at this mess I have to clean, i have to clean now 6. i'm so tired i can't do this 7. I feel super uncreative and I don't know what to build with Legos 8. Ugh, look at all the other things i need to be doing right now instead of this
I want to change this to: 1. first still shower and stop peeing a little in your pants 2. let's play and cherish this moment 3. go back to work when you are bored with me....
What reality do you want to create for your life? Your family? Your kids? Your marriage?
Do you want your kids to look at their childhood and remember mom being a ball of stress, constantly worried about her weight, and never free to play? Or when you do play you were constantly glued to your phone or distracted?
What steps can you take to be present? Enjoy and cherish this fleeting moment?
Where do you need support? Cooking, cleaning, shopping, sitter? We hired a cleaner just for our bathrooms (hooray!)
I can't wait to use Instacart and we have used Green bean delivery in the past
Meal planning thanks to the nifty Eat Smart Eat Cheap magazine has saved us tons of money, time, and we lost weight!
We have a community of teenage daughters that would love to babysit and help you!
Head over to our Facebook group for support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/LBBMedicine/