How to stop overthinking

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Hello. And welcome back today. We are going to be talking about how to stop over thinking. And this is a big one, right? Because there's so much going on not only in the world, but in our personal lives and how we're managing it. And there's a lot of fear and worry and disappointment. And a lot of, I don't mind people are coming to me saying, Oh my gosh, my anxiety is out of control. I don't know what to do. So I really just want to dive into this with you. Go through a couple talking points I had and ramble on. Let's see what we come up with. Okay. So when we talk about overthinking what I see, what I hear when I'm told as well, just pray, just meditate, just deal with it, get over it, stop thinking about it. And I am here to tell you that is not, that is not the answer.


And really there's, there's no supplement, there's no oil. There's nothing that you can take to stop the overthinking. The overanalyzing, the over-processing the flow of thought set is just continuous for a lot of people. So I got to do my first salt bath, soak, float, whatever you call it. Last week and it was wonderful. And I got to talk to a couple of people about it and they said, Oh, I was just so disappointed because the first and second time I was able to shut my brain off. And then I never was able to, after that. And I understand that. But also I was like, so what if you can't shut your brain off? Like, let those thoughts go. So if you're an over-thinker like, just let it happen. It's okay.


Don't punish yourself. Don't judge yourself. You're not bad. You're not wrong.

You're not, if you're not, you're not wrong. There's it's okay. You don't have to change this. Isn't a, there's something wrong with you. Right. and when I was doing meditation, a couple of years ago, teacher taught me, you know, like you're gonna have good sessions. You're gonna have bad sessions. Right? It's like layers of an onion. Like you might have this like perfectly calm, clear, beautiful meditation thing. I am a master. I've got those in like, literally the very next time that you step into the studio, whether it's the next day or a week later, it's going to all fall apart. And that's okay because that's what happens. So stop punishing yourself. Get out of that mindset right now. Okay. And the next step of that is recognize that it's a strength. It's a gift that you can see so much going on and be so vigilant.


Hyper-Aware see all of the different paths, right. That are leading to whether, hopefully solutions right on the good side or negative outcomes on the bad side. But we have the gift to say, all right, here's the problem? What are the 800 million things that could go wrong or right. How do we get there and what am I going to do? So you're very, very, very, very well prepared. Okay. So look at it as a strength and something that can guide you to you, support your family, support your business, support the people around you. What role can your overthinking take? Okay. So let's look at us at a positive way now, of course, when it's starting to hurt us, when we're laying awake all night, when we are making ourselves literally sick with worry, and a lot of people, Oh, IBS and acid reflux and headaches and anxiety, we can't leave the house.


Things like that. This is when we need the help with it. Right. So recognize when you're overthinking, when you're over analyzing it, is there a specific topic? Is it everything? Is it a time of day? Is it a time of month? Like when are things hyped up for you? So that way, if it is a physical reaction, you can say, Oh, wow. I never really noticed that when I ovulate, I freak out or, you know, when this happens, I freak out. So it's really good to start recognizing when these patterns are happening, is it a topic and really hone in on what's going on there, write it down, get a calendar to is really, really helpful when you're doing this kind of journaling.


And remember that your spouse, your kids, your best friend, they're not your therapist. And that's a hard one to break sometimes because sometimes your spouse is only person that you do get taught, get to talk to.

Sometimes your kids are the only people that you get to talk to. So you have to remember that unless they're a therapist or a psychologist or someone in that field, they don't know how to deal with you. Right. And that's just going to make things worse for you. So don't hesitate to find a counselor. There's actually a ton of online websites now that do telemedicine for therapy. So you can't leave the house. If you're unable to leave the house, if your kids need to be in the next room, that's always a possibility. So go get a therapist, try your best, not to use your spouse as your therapist, and really focus in on what are supportive conversations that you can have with your kids and your spouse or your best friend, or even ask them, Hey, I'm having this issue. I'm over thinking. I'm really scared and really low tonight, right.


We can go down that road real fast. Can I talk to you about this? Or I need some help strategizing how to feel better about this. Okay. And ask yourself questions. You're already talking to yourself. You can ask yourself questions. Like, can I do anything about this right now in this moment? And if you can then go do it, most likely you can't, which is why we overanalyze and freak out. Right. But the other question that I always give myself as like, can I actually control this? Probably not. What can I control about this? Okay. Then I'm going to go and do that for myself. And I try to remember like, okay, next year, is this gonna be an issue in five years, this is going to be an issue, like put it into perspective of what's going on. And that really does help. Sometimes, sometimes tone things down.


And when you get down into the negativity, the pessimistic side of things ask yourself what can go, right? What could turn out in a beautiful way? How could this end up really good for you or supportive, or maybe this leads to a change in the world that you could be proactive about and get your hands on right now and be supportive for your community, your world, or your church, your friends, like whatever. You're worried about what can go, right. And how can you be a supportive change in that? Okay. So you are not your thoughts, right? Thoughts are just chemical reactions in your brain. So whether it's depression, anxiety bipolar, dysmorphia, you, aren't your thoughts. This is not who you are. Your thoughts. Don't always define you. And especially if they're hurtful or overthinking. I've been called a lot of names in my life because of my anxiety and overthinking.


And it's hard and it's really hard to release one. The thought of people calling me names because of my anxiety, but also to be able to release and move on for myself from the overthinking. And sometimes you do have to recognize that your thoughts are toxic and they're toxic to you, and they're toxic to other people. And I think of like my kids and my daughter and the things that I say to myself and I worry about, and I honestly, one of my techniques is to put those words into my kid's mouth. And would I be okay with them saying this or thinking this? And usually it's not great. So, okay. I would never want my daughter to think those are my son to feel this way because it's not true. It's not right. It's not complete. It's not healthy. It's, it's not real.


It doesn't have to be that way. So, all right. So it's not true for them. Why does it have to be true for me? Right. And then we can start looking at those situations in those ways. So I always think of, especially with overthinking, I'm waiting for test results, right. And waiting for that surgery or waiting for the scan to come in or going to the scanner, what's going to happen all of those fears. And when you're outside looking in, you're like, just don't think about it. Don't worry about it. Like, there'll be here on Tuesday, there'll be here on Friday. Or you're just, it's just another month. Like, it's fine. But when it's you, it's a completely different situation. And that's kind of what I think of when we think of over overthinking it's painful process. So you can actually affirm your fears and be respectful with them and say, this, this is sitting on me and it's killing me and I'm not going to be okay until this happens.


Or this result comes in, or I'm told where what's my next step in my future. Because that, that middle ground, that I can't think of the word for it right now. I'm sorry. I can see it in my head, but that space where Lou is limbo, thank you, limbo, where you're just, there's nowhere to go, right. Is incredibly difficult. And if you can name it and you can see it and you can acknowledge it and say, okay, I'm in limbo. I literally cannot move forward until this happens. It's okay to affirm that and know that and say that and let other people in your life know that that's going on and say, I'm stuck until this happens because it's normal and it's okay. And it is scary. So that's when you go back to, can I control this right now? Is there anything I can do?


How do I move forward? And what are the positive results that can come out of this? Now of course, distracting yourself is one of the main tools, right? But don't avoid everything completely. We have to let that out. We don't want to make ourselves sick, carrying all of this weight with us. And then one of my favorite techniques that I don't like, but other people seem to like a lot is like setting a timer for like 10 minutes and letting all your worries run out of your head and just get super down in it and get super upset. And like, you can rage or punch a pillow or something like that, or cry or scream. And like, this is my, this is my worry time. This is my 10 minutes for me, 10 minutes. Wasn't long enough. And that's fine too, because I know that about myself.


So you can set a timer 15, 20 minutes be like, all right, I'm going to think about this and freak out about this. And when the timer's done, I'm done worrying about it. I'm going to let it go. And I'm going to come back to it later today and set another 10 minute timer. So there's a lot of techniques. You're not wrong. You're not bad for overthinking. You are stressed. You're human. You are emotionally aware of what's going around you and what's going on in the world. What's going on with your home. And the people who love you, you feel that and you want to help. And I think that's where that overthinking comes a lot for a lot of women. So deep breath, hang in there, write it down. Start journaling, find a therapist, find somebody who can support you and love on you and help give you the guidance. And especially when you're in limbo, work with people who can give you those small steps to take as you move forward with your life. So that way you do always have a plan and you're not stuck. You're not alone. You got this. Thank you for being here and we'll see you next time.




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